Brothers and Birthdays

I panicked today. It was due to a realization that literally took my breath away. I am going to be 50 in November, I know it is still a few months away, and it honestly does not botherme turning 50. Here is the problem. I was born on the night of my big brothers birthday after midnight. So Joe was born on the 12th of November and I was born on the 13th. 5 years apart. For my whole life, he would hand over the birthday honors at exactly midnight.

It didn't matter where we were or even if we were together. When we were kids, he would wake me up to give me the "birthday" and as we grew older and lived hundreds of miles away from each other, he called me every year at exactly midnight. The phone would ring and it would be his friendly voice telling me "Happy Birthday Sis!" It was one of the few constants in my life. Now the big 50 one is coming and he won't call. You see, Joe died this year before our birthdays and I am feeling pretty lost without him. Even as he grew ill and was in a nursing home with several medical ailments, I would make peanut butter cookies and go spend our birthdays together.

I thought it might be easier to change my birthday to the fourth of July but it didnt work, everyone forgot in the chaos of my daughter being in the hospital and all things aside, it didnt feel right anyway. I miss Joe so much. He left us right after my dad died so it was a double whammy losing the two members of my family that I loved the most. I am not sure what to do for my birthday and am open to suggestions here. I just know that it will be so sad turning 50 without him.

So the view from my horse is birthdays and brothers and both were always prettycool until now. What I wouldn't do for that midnight call just one more year. I miss you Joe, you were the perfect brother and I wouldn't have shared my birthday with anyone else in the world. My birthday wish for you this year is that you are finally free of all the pain and riding your motorcycle through the back roads of heaven with Debby on the back. That you have hot fresh baked peanut cookies at your beck and call and that you show me a sign on my birthday this year that you are thinking abou me and still watching over me. I miss you buddy.

Blessings
Tena