A Horse To Fill The Void

For over 15 years, I looked out my widow to see Beau, our stallion looking back toward the house in anticipation of the next time I would come out to play and I smiled. When I was in a hurry and the bugs were biting, I would pick up a bottle of fly spray and he would meet me at the fence, line up to be sprayed and turn around when I asked so I could get the other side. He would stand in the palpation chute / bathing chute and when I tipped my head to one side, he mocked me. Tip it to the other side and he would do that too. Nod my head and he nodded. Tap his nose with the end of my lead rope in a halter class, and he would stretch his nose out and show off his beautiful muscled neck. He didnt come to us knowing all these things because horses arent born to please you. It is respect that is earned and paid for through the hours you spend with them.

His little barn was the first one we ever built here and now it stands empty. Not completely because Bear had this idea that if we parked the tractors in there, it wouldn't look so sad and lonely but try as I may, the tractor doesnt meet me at the gate, doesnt bring me its halter when it wants to come out. A tractor doesn't smell like that horse that just got a bath and is drying in the sun. A tractor doesn't fill the void left by a horse that was part of who you are and then died. When I pick up the fly spray, the tractor doesn't line up at the fence and make me laugh. Tractors have no personality really and always break down when the grass is long and needs to be mowed. A horse will eat all that grass and doesn't require near as much maintanance as a tractor. The tractor doesnt even fit in the damn bathing chute!

Sure I have considered putting another horse in his paddock to fill the void but my options are limited. In the other paddock, there are 3 horses. Cher, my old mare from Texas, Hootie, Beaus son, a gelding that is very cool but young and green and prefers to be with his mother. Then there is Nova. Ahhh, Nova the paint came to us a short while ago from a friend who had to part with her and by golly, she is a pretty mare for sure! Nova came out of the trailer kicking and rearing and basically being a mare. Beau was a stallion and I would take a stallion over a mare any day. Catching Nova is no problem because the moment you enter the paddock, she comes to you immediately. With pinned ears and bared teeth! That is until she sees the bottle of fly spray, then she runs circles around you kicking at you all the while. If there is food involved, she pins her ears and attacks you because she is sure you are going to take it away. If you try to get near Hootie or Cher, she attempts to get around them to rip your face off. No amount of time with her has ever proven to be enough to break her of being a bitchy mare and if I moved her to Beaus paddock, Bear, hubby on blood thinners would make her his project and the only person she hates more than me is him. We already spend far too much time in the E.R. as it is.

I miss the days of foaling mares and new babies and foaling parties sitting up with friends til the wee hours of the morning waiting for a mare to foal. I miss breeding season with Beau because he was so easy to handle and so willing to just do his job and go back to the sweet horse he used to be. I miss his entertaining manner and his genuine desire to please you.I miss the way you could just crawl up on him and he would sidepass me down the rail in just a halter and lead rope. I miss Beau. The view from the back of my horse is all the wonderful years we had with him and how beautiful he was.

The fact is that no horse can fill the void left by another horse that you loved and lost just as no other person can fill that void. Horses are different just as people are and try as you may, you can;t replace them. I would love nothing better than to put a nice dead broke gelding in that corral so when things get tough in life and I get a minute break from taking care of everyone, I can renew my soul by just riding a sweet horse instead of risking my life with the mare from hell. Yesterday, I wnet in to scrub the water buckets and fill them and sure as I am standing, here she comes. Nova, ears pinned and teeth bared ready for a fight. Close behind her was Hootie, Beaus son who had enough, I think and as she approached me at a full trot, he chased her off to the back of the pasture and then walked slowly over to me and stood there to be loved. It was so nice to see that Hootie has inhereted his sires sweet nature and loving attitude. I spent almost two hours with him, brushing him and as I did, Cher came over and took her turn and it did make me feel better. Slowly, Nova came over and I thought to myself, there is hope for her yet. I waited until she got close enough to put on a halter and lead and she stood quietly. Hootie stood close as if to tell her, behave or I am going to kick your ass. I brushed her, combed her mane, led her around while Hootie and Cher followed and then removed the halter and lead rope and turned her loose. Ears pinned, teeth bared, she kicked up at me as she ran off. Mares. Some are just not loving, easy going horses and certainly not the horse of choice to fill the void here.

For now, the tractor will have to fill the void in the front paddock where that lovely stallion used to live. The carrots and apples will just continue to pile up there because try as I might, that damn tractor will never actually eat them. None of the halters really fit well and for sure, that piece of shit doesn't smell like a horse. The neighbors are beginning to worry about the extensive amounts of time I am spending talking to the tractor and complaining a little about the sound that Beaus brushes make on the metal, like fingers on a chalkboard. Someday, hopefully in my lifetime, I will find a horse that I can put in that front paddock and I will look out the window and he will look back at me in anticipation of a good ride. In the meantime, I will work with Cher and Hootie and even Nova and when spring comes and the tractor sheds its winter coat, maybe it will shed out to be a beautiful palomino color. Hey, it could happen! On another note...Laura, stop stalking me. Haha
Blessings
Tena