In August of 2005, I sat in a hospital room where my husband Bear was gravely sick. A lot of you knew this but some of you did not. He had open heart surgery at 47 years old because his heart was infected from a tooth extraction. We were told at the time that it would be a miracle if he survived. After many agonizing months, we recieved our miracle. At the time, a name kept coming up inconversation with fellow horse people. Tootie Bland.
It would seem that she and her husband Steven did not recieve the same miracle and Steven passed away. My heart ached for her as it does still today and they were in my thoughts a lot. I didn't know them at the time, only heard her name cross the lips of so many people. Their situation mirrored ours in a lot of ways. Horse people, heart surgery, the men were the same age, and two women who loved their husbands dearly cherished every moment that we had with them.
There is a certain amount of guilt that comes with being a survivor when others were not as fortunate and I really felt compelled to reach out to this stranger but hesitated because my husband survived and hers did not. I could feel her pain although I had never met her because in that dark place between life and death, pain is too unbearable not to share.
Recently, I sent her an email because I couldn't get her out of my mind. I saw her name again in conjunction with an event called The Road To The Horse that was being planned for the middle of March. It wasn't so much the dates or even the event that caught my attention but rather the location. Franklin Tennessee.
The location in which the event was being held is actually minutes from the small cabin where I love to go to write. Marvin and Maryella's cabin. So as I said I finally reached out to Tootie in an email and she called me a week or so ago. We chatted for quite some time and shared our stories and the similarities in our lives and she couldn't have been nicer. Hearing her talk about Steven and their lives promted me to write a small tribute to their love for each other. She told me that he used to say that he was "Just A Cowboy". Her love for him tells me that he was so much more than that.
Steven will be inducted into the Texas Cowboy Hall of Fame next month and she has asked to use the tribute aspart of the celebration of his life and accomplishments. I am both honored and humbled by this. I dearly wish their ending would have been a happier one because she deserves many happy endings.
We have spoken a few times since via email and Bear and I will be with her at The Road To The Horse next month and give her the biggest hug ever! Her strength in the face of adversity deserves a place in the Hall of Fame aside her husbands name. Tootie, our love and respect to you and the memory of your Steven.
JUST A COWBOY
TRIBUTE TO STEVEN BLAND
By Tena Bastian
A man is judged by who he is
Not what he has done or where he has been
Not silver buckles, titles or trophies
But by those who love him and call him their friend.
A cowboy is judged by his character
By his ability to make a good decision
Not the height of his horse or the size of his spurs
That is not what makes him an American Tradition.
He said, “I’m just a cowboy”
Nothing more and nothing less
A man of his word who’s love and compassion
Measured his success.
Just A Cowboy lived his life
With love in his heart and a comforting smile
His accomplishments were many
He had grace and dignity and style.
Just A Cowboy loved a woman
With a heart so pure, she made him whole
She was the love of his life, his kindred spirit
One life, one love, one soul.
They rode the plains of Texas northwest of Abilene
Their mornings spent tending cattle and checking the fields of hay
A sky of blue and pastures green
Just A Cowboy led the way.
The road to the horse is a quiet one
With steady hands and a compassionate heart
Where a horse is never broken
But rather given a solid start.
They knew it wouldn’t be easy
Because nothing worth having ever was
But they believed in the strength of each other
In their faith, their abilities and their love.
They took the road less traveled
But they set their minds and stayed their course
El Camino Del Cabbalas
Welcome to The Road To The Horse.
He said “I’m just a cowboy”
And he lived his life with no regret
For the things they had accomplished
And the ones she ain’t done yet.
He will always be here in spirit
To comfort you, to catch you when you fall
To love you unconditionally
Because he is “Just A Cowboy” after all.
For Tootie with love
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
new snow, new book, new puppies and new baby
Greetings fellow horse lovers.
My gosh, where has the time gone? Better question would be where is spring? I really can't take much more of these subzero temps and snow. I say that and yet it doesn't stop. It just keeps coming. Whats a girl gonna do besides hunker down and write a new book. Yep, started it today. More news to come soon.
The hubby is happy. We just found out that we are expecting our first litter of mini australian shepard pups in a week and a half. Vet says there are five or six. Can't wait. The male is a red and white tri and the female is a blue merle. Speaking of puppies, the neighbors had a baby boy! Now there is a really cute puppy. His name is Dominic and he is a doll. They all seem really happy so congrats to them.
So we had decided to go down to the Franklin, Tn. Bastian's house in March and spend some time in the cabin and then we hear that The Road To The Horse is that same weekend and it is in Franklin. Sounds like fun. Equine Affaire is just two weeks or so after so we are not sure we can swing both but will give it a shot. If anyone is going to either, give us a shout out between now and then. We would love to meet up with you.
Speaking of the Bastian cousins, our love and prayers go out to Marvin and Mary Ella as Marvin is having open heart surgery tomorrow morning. We know how hard that can be. So everyone keep them in your prayers. I gotta run and get chores done in the barn and kennel as Holly is calling from Americas Horse at 6 to do an interview for an article. More news on that to come as well.
Blessings and stay warm
Tena
My gosh, where has the time gone? Better question would be where is spring? I really can't take much more of these subzero temps and snow. I say that and yet it doesn't stop. It just keeps coming. Whats a girl gonna do besides hunker down and write a new book. Yep, started it today. More news to come soon.
The hubby is happy. We just found out that we are expecting our first litter of mini australian shepard pups in a week and a half. Vet says there are five or six. Can't wait. The male is a red and white tri and the female is a blue merle. Speaking of puppies, the neighbors had a baby boy! Now there is a really cute puppy. His name is Dominic and he is a doll. They all seem really happy so congrats to them.
So we had decided to go down to the Franklin, Tn. Bastian's house in March and spend some time in the cabin and then we hear that The Road To The Horse is that same weekend and it is in Franklin. Sounds like fun. Equine Affaire is just two weeks or so after so we are not sure we can swing both but will give it a shot. If anyone is going to either, give us a shout out between now and then. We would love to meet up with you.
Speaking of the Bastian cousins, our love and prayers go out to Marvin and Mary Ella as Marvin is having open heart surgery tomorrow morning. We know how hard that can be. So everyone keep them in your prayers. I gotta run and get chores done in the barn and kennel as Holly is calling from Americas Horse at 6 to do an interview for an article. More news on that to come as well.
Blessings and stay warm
Tena
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Holidays in Ohio
Oh my goodness, has it really been three weeks since my last post? I didn't realize it until I started getting emails asking if everything was all right since I had not posted since the ninth. Sorry. Ohio had become one large ice skating rink until the other day when it turned 66 degrees and all of it melted.
Lets go back a few days to the ice skating rink. Our driveway is long and sits on a slight slope that starts with the highest point being the front door of the kennel. Traveling downward to the road, our driveway was a frozen waterslide. It was unavoidable with all the snow melting and freezing rain coming down in buckets. Add to these conditions an overzealous rather large dog who thinks he is a puppy, three adults and a teenager trying to get that puppy from the kennel to the awaiting truck in the driveway and what you have is an episode of the Three Stooges plus one. Thank goodness it melted and we can start over with the winter mess and possibly trade in the sleet and ice for some pretty fresh, clean snow. I know the horses were conspiring with each other about packing up and moving to greener pastures and I must say I would not have blamed them at all.
Well we shopped and wrapped and exchanged and unwrapped and ate and slept and watched old movies and went to Grandmas house like everyone does and we visited and came home and ate and slept some more. Sigh. Fun but tiring. I received two, no make that three very special gifts. One was a book that my older daughter had made for me and it is one of a kind. Photos of my dad and two poems I had written for him. The second was a 45 record, remember those? Rod Stewart which was the same record that my brother gave me for my birthday years ago. Jennifer even found a record player to play it on. Good memories attached to both and very thoughtful.
The third was an oar. Yep, I won a boat oar in the white elephant gift exchange. Funny! I am sure it will come in handy when I am up shit creek without a paddle. Now I have one. Any way, Merry Christmas to all of you and heres to a new, better year filled with hope, promise and more time out in the barn.
Blessings
Tena
Lets go back a few days to the ice skating rink. Our driveway is long and sits on a slight slope that starts with the highest point being the front door of the kennel. Traveling downward to the road, our driveway was a frozen waterslide. It was unavoidable with all the snow melting and freezing rain coming down in buckets. Add to these conditions an overzealous rather large dog who thinks he is a puppy, three adults and a teenager trying to get that puppy from the kennel to the awaiting truck in the driveway and what you have is an episode of the Three Stooges plus one. Thank goodness it melted and we can start over with the winter mess and possibly trade in the sleet and ice for some pretty fresh, clean snow. I know the horses were conspiring with each other about packing up and moving to greener pastures and I must say I would not have blamed them at all.
Well we shopped and wrapped and exchanged and unwrapped and ate and slept and watched old movies and went to Grandmas house like everyone does and we visited and came home and ate and slept some more. Sigh. Fun but tiring. I received two, no make that three very special gifts. One was a book that my older daughter had made for me and it is one of a kind. Photos of my dad and two poems I had written for him. The second was a 45 record, remember those? Rod Stewart which was the same record that my brother gave me for my birthday years ago. Jennifer even found a record player to play it on. Good memories attached to both and very thoughtful.
The third was an oar. Yep, I won a boat oar in the white elephant gift exchange. Funny! I am sure it will come in handy when I am up shit creek without a paddle. Now I have one. Any way, Merry Christmas to all of you and heres to a new, better year filled with hope, promise and more time out in the barn.
Blessings
Tena
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The American Quarter Horse
There is a saying in the industry that says "Friends don't let friends ride Arabs". Oh I am sure that each of us have our favorite breed and an Arabian is a perfectly good choice for some. My personal choice is an American Quarter Horse andhere are a few examples of why.
Riding in the Christmas parade one year with several friends, while stopped on Main street due to an approaching train, my gelding Teddy watches as the whistle blows and the ground seems to rumble beneath his feet. I look around at the other horses and realize that there is quite a menagerie of various breeds in attendance. As the train comes closer, three of the horses begin to prance. One actually backs up about twenty feet and nearly stops on top of the mini horse and cart just behind us. Another rears and the rider quickly dismounts. A third moves from side to side anxious and clearly not comfortable with the sound of the train. Two horses, mine and a sorrel mare lead the pack and stand quietly seemingly unaware of the chaos that is unfolding around us. Two Quarter Horses, Teddy and the sorrel mare hold their ground against the big iron horse that goes speeding down the tracks just a couple feet in front of us.
That is what I love about the Quarter Horse... they are rock solid when it comes to intense situations.
The other night, my husband was late coming home from work and I had been preparing a surprise steak dinner for him. I called him on his cell phone and told him I had a surprise for him and wanted to know if he would be home soon. He assured me he was at our corner and would be home in a matter of seconds. I put his New York strip on the plate, butter on the baked potato and a dab of sour cream and I watched out the window as his truck pulled up the driveway and he stopped about halfway to the house. The phone rang and it was him. He said. "Please tell me that my surprise is not the horses standing by the garage."
"WHAT?" I replied as I had just fed our crew and all were standing exactly where I had left them. I looked out the window and there in the driveway were two horses, a Paint horse and a pony with no halters. By the time we found the owners, a neighbor that lives a few houses down, it was quite dark and she was unable to come and retrieve them. My husband and our friend Sheri decided to walk the pair home with me following in the car so traffic could see them along the road. In the headlights, I watched as the two horses danced all over their handlers, struggling to get away and spooking over anything that moved.
I thought to myself, "I am a lucky woman to have horses that are better behaved and stay where I leave them, Quarter Horses that I can trust."
The truth is that a Quarter Horse is that one friend that we all have that has your back during the worst of times and makes the good times better because they are fun to be around. There is such a rich American history in their lineage and they have a work ethic that far outweighs that of any other breed. Now I may be bias considering they are my personal breed of choice but I can honestly tell you that the view from the back of my horse, my Quarter Horse, is a barn that is quiet and content enough that gaurantees me that the dogs will NEVER eat my steak dinner while I go fetch MY horses from a neighbors yard and walk them home.
We spent the evening eating rice while our dogs sighed a contented sigh with bellies full. "Friends don't let friends ride Arabs and smart people ride Quarter Horses.
Blessings
Tena
Riding in the Christmas parade one year with several friends, while stopped on Main street due to an approaching train, my gelding Teddy watches as the whistle blows and the ground seems to rumble beneath his feet. I look around at the other horses and realize that there is quite a menagerie of various breeds in attendance. As the train comes closer, three of the horses begin to prance. One actually backs up about twenty feet and nearly stops on top of the mini horse and cart just behind us. Another rears and the rider quickly dismounts. A third moves from side to side anxious and clearly not comfortable with the sound of the train. Two horses, mine and a sorrel mare lead the pack and stand quietly seemingly unaware of the chaos that is unfolding around us. Two Quarter Horses, Teddy and the sorrel mare hold their ground against the big iron horse that goes speeding down the tracks just a couple feet in front of us.
That is what I love about the Quarter Horse... they are rock solid when it comes to intense situations.
The other night, my husband was late coming home from work and I had been preparing a surprise steak dinner for him. I called him on his cell phone and told him I had a surprise for him and wanted to know if he would be home soon. He assured me he was at our corner and would be home in a matter of seconds. I put his New York strip on the plate, butter on the baked potato and a dab of sour cream and I watched out the window as his truck pulled up the driveway and he stopped about halfway to the house. The phone rang and it was him. He said. "Please tell me that my surprise is not the horses standing by the garage."
"WHAT?" I replied as I had just fed our crew and all were standing exactly where I had left them. I looked out the window and there in the driveway were two horses, a Paint horse and a pony with no halters. By the time we found the owners, a neighbor that lives a few houses down, it was quite dark and she was unable to come and retrieve them. My husband and our friend Sheri decided to walk the pair home with me following in the car so traffic could see them along the road. In the headlights, I watched as the two horses danced all over their handlers, struggling to get away and spooking over anything that moved.
I thought to myself, "I am a lucky woman to have horses that are better behaved and stay where I leave them, Quarter Horses that I can trust."
The truth is that a Quarter Horse is that one friend that we all have that has your back during the worst of times and makes the good times better because they are fun to be around. There is such a rich American history in their lineage and they have a work ethic that far outweighs that of any other breed. Now I may be bias considering they are my personal breed of choice but I can honestly tell you that the view from the back of my horse, my Quarter Horse, is a barn that is quiet and content enough that gaurantees me that the dogs will NEVER eat my steak dinner while I go fetch MY horses from a neighbors yard and walk them home.
We spent the evening eating rice while our dogs sighed a contented sigh with bellies full. "Friends don't let friends ride Arabs and smart people ride Quarter Horses.
Blessings
Tena
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Birthday Blessing
Well, I made it over the hill to the other side of 50! Bear and I drove down to Nashville, Franklin and Leipers Fork Tennessee. We stayed with Marvin and Mary Ella Bastian or more specifically in their little cabin and we had a wonderful time. They treated us extremely well and we love them very much.
I had to share that I recieved a really special miracle while on our way home. As I said, I am missing my brother Joe terribly and this would be my first birthday without him. I always made him peanut butter cookies for his birthday so armed with the cookies, we stopped at every cool place we could find and we left a cookie. The highway patrol is probably wondering where all the cookies came from. I felt him with me a lot. Early in the morning when I woke, before I fell asleep and every moment in between. So we are in the gift shop in a Cracker Barrel restaurant waiting to be seated when a woman bumps into a rack of greeting cards next to me. She walked away and one card fell to the ground at my feet. I picked it up and the front said "Happy Birthday Sister"It was the perfect way to let me know he was with me. I love you Joe, thanks for the card.
The view from the back of my horse is the beautiful landscape of Tennessee and the pretty little cabin that sits on the hill in Franklin, what a perfect place!
Blessings
Tena
I had to share that I recieved a really special miracle while on our way home. As I said, I am missing my brother Joe terribly and this would be my first birthday without him. I always made him peanut butter cookies for his birthday so armed with the cookies, we stopped at every cool place we could find and we left a cookie. The highway patrol is probably wondering where all the cookies came from. I felt him with me a lot. Early in the morning when I woke, before I fell asleep and every moment in between. So we are in the gift shop in a Cracker Barrel restaurant waiting to be seated when a woman bumps into a rack of greeting cards next to me. She walked away and one card fell to the ground at my feet. I picked it up and the front said "Happy Birthday Sister"It was the perfect way to let me know he was with me. I love you Joe, thanks for the card.
The view from the back of my horse is the beautiful landscape of Tennessee and the pretty little cabin that sits on the hill in Franklin, what a perfect place!
Blessings
Tena
Monday, November 10, 2008
First Rides, Cousins and Cabins
Good morning world!
It is 32 degrees here in Ohio and it is snowing light flakes. I am not a winter person, I am a summer person but this year, I will try and enjoy each day for what it is instead of counting down the days til summer rolls around again.
The other day, I told you about my frustrating work session with Hootie, the buckskin gelding. Well I called in reinforcements. I called in my friend Carolyn who also used to be one of my 4h kids years ago. See, she is younger and bounces instead of breaks and to be perfectly honest, I really hate the first ride. I love taking a horse that has had a rider on his back and perfecting everything from that point on. So after about an hour of the same nonsense he offered me, Carolyn sat down in the saddle and he dropped his head and said... "Ok, I get it now". That makes him my clean slate to apply our ten steps to a great horse. I hav e decided to document those ten steps for my next book.
Cousin Marvin and Mary Ella called from Nashville right as Bear and I were discussing what to do for my 50th. As I mentioned, these people had read my book, The Horses We Love The Lessons We Learn and called us one day. Their last name is the same as ours and even if we are not related, there is a definate connection. Well they took a revolutionary war era cabin that stands on their property and completely renovated it into a guest house. They invited us down to stay in it for the coming weekend, so we are leaving wednesday and coming home friday or saturday. We are excited. I will be waking on my 50th birthday in a cabin in the hills of Tennessee and I couldn't be more excited.
We spent the weekend clearing the trees from the pasture and burning leaves and branches and assessing the damage I did to the barn when the big cherry tree fell on it. We are thinking it is going to be about $750. Yikes! Again, let me say that it is amazing to me how little space trees taake up standing compared to falling and especially when they fall on your barn. Oh sigh, I can't wait to sit in the little cabin and reflect on what is important in that lesson. The view from the back of my horse will be much nicer than the mess out in the pasture.
Blessings
Tena
It is 32 degrees here in Ohio and it is snowing light flakes. I am not a winter person, I am a summer person but this year, I will try and enjoy each day for what it is instead of counting down the days til summer rolls around again.
The other day, I told you about my frustrating work session with Hootie, the buckskin gelding. Well I called in reinforcements. I called in my friend Carolyn who also used to be one of my 4h kids years ago. See, she is younger and bounces instead of breaks and to be perfectly honest, I really hate the first ride. I love taking a horse that has had a rider on his back and perfecting everything from that point on. So after about an hour of the same nonsense he offered me, Carolyn sat down in the saddle and he dropped his head and said... "Ok, I get it now". That makes him my clean slate to apply our ten steps to a great horse. I hav e decided to document those ten steps for my next book.
Cousin Marvin and Mary Ella called from Nashville right as Bear and I were discussing what to do for my 50th. As I mentioned, these people had read my book, The Horses We Love The Lessons We Learn and called us one day. Their last name is the same as ours and even if we are not related, there is a definate connection. Well they took a revolutionary war era cabin that stands on their property and completely renovated it into a guest house. They invited us down to stay in it for the coming weekend, so we are leaving wednesday and coming home friday or saturday. We are excited. I will be waking on my 50th birthday in a cabin in the hills of Tennessee and I couldn't be more excited.
We spent the weekend clearing the trees from the pasture and burning leaves and branches and assessing the damage I did to the barn when the big cherry tree fell on it. We are thinking it is going to be about $750. Yikes! Again, let me say that it is amazing to me how little space trees taake up standing compared to falling and especially when they fall on your barn. Oh sigh, I can't wait to sit in the little cabin and reflect on what is important in that lesson. The view from the back of my horse will be much nicer than the mess out in the pasture.
Blessings
Tena
Thursday, November 6, 2008
What is Important
The view from the back of my horse today is what is important. In the worst of circumstances, the power to see the positive side of any situation.
My friend Shannon tied a horse to a gate, the horse spooked, dragging the gate and injuring himself and Shannon in the process. Shan has a broken back and pelvic bone, the horse had a few staples . Tying horses to moveable objects is never a great idea but what is important is that neither of them were killed.
As my 50th birthday approaches, I must admit that it bothers me because I really wanted to do something special to mark the occasion. Time and finances won't allow me to go on a cruise or have a big blowout party but I have a husband who tries to make me happy with smaller gestures and what is important is that I almost lost him once and the good Lord let me keep him on this earth a little bit longer and that is what is important. That he loves me enough to want to celebrate my birthday and he is here.
In training our gelding, Hootie, I have worked in the round pen for quite some time getting him over his fear of basically everything that frightens him. I was frustrated beyond belief because I have waited three years to be able to ride this horse that I have raised from the day he was born. Everytime I tried to put my foot in the stirrup, he would bolt. I grew tired and took a break but never left the round pen because I didn't want to end the session on a bad note. I sat on a barrel in the middle of the pen and something wonderful happened.
As I sat there, I looked around at a day that was perfect. It is Indian Summer here in Ohio and the temperatures are high and the sky was blue and leaves continue to fall creating a blanket of reds and yellows and oranges and it occurred to me that what was important here was that I have the ability to get this horse past this hump after years of working with horses. What is most important is that if I stop rushing the process and allow him to figure it out on his own time, I will have created a horse that I will enjoy for years to come.
As I sat there in my frustration admiring the beauty around me, he walked over to me as if to say "be patient, I am frightened and I need your guidance." I traced the lines around his eyes with my fingertips and stroked his beautiful black mane and just "visited"with him. Once I calmed down, he calmed down and the lesson continued. NO, today was not the day that I would take my first ride on his back but what was important was that it reminded me of why I love horses in the first place. I was reminded how fortunate I am to have them in my life and that the day will come when he is ready for this big step and I don't want to rush him. Something tells me that there may be six inches of snow on the ground before he comfortably accepts me as his rider and these frustrating days will have been forgotten but what is important now is patience.
In the darkest, most frustrating times, we have to remember what is important in life and cling to it. I sent Shannon a care package of halloween candy, magazines and other things and as the days of indian summer come to an end I will continue to patiently work with this horse as often as time allows and just enjoy it for what it is and remember what is important.
Blessings
Tena
My friend Shannon tied a horse to a gate, the horse spooked, dragging the gate and injuring himself and Shannon in the process. Shan has a broken back and pelvic bone, the horse had a few staples . Tying horses to moveable objects is never a great idea but what is important is that neither of them were killed.
As my 50th birthday approaches, I must admit that it bothers me because I really wanted to do something special to mark the occasion. Time and finances won't allow me to go on a cruise or have a big blowout party but I have a husband who tries to make me happy with smaller gestures and what is important is that I almost lost him once and the good Lord let me keep him on this earth a little bit longer and that is what is important. That he loves me enough to want to celebrate my birthday and he is here.
In training our gelding, Hootie, I have worked in the round pen for quite some time getting him over his fear of basically everything that frightens him. I was frustrated beyond belief because I have waited three years to be able to ride this horse that I have raised from the day he was born. Everytime I tried to put my foot in the stirrup, he would bolt. I grew tired and took a break but never left the round pen because I didn't want to end the session on a bad note. I sat on a barrel in the middle of the pen and something wonderful happened.
As I sat there, I looked around at a day that was perfect. It is Indian Summer here in Ohio and the temperatures are high and the sky was blue and leaves continue to fall creating a blanket of reds and yellows and oranges and it occurred to me that what was important here was that I have the ability to get this horse past this hump after years of working with horses. What is most important is that if I stop rushing the process and allow him to figure it out on his own time, I will have created a horse that I will enjoy for years to come.
As I sat there in my frustration admiring the beauty around me, he walked over to me as if to say "be patient, I am frightened and I need your guidance." I traced the lines around his eyes with my fingertips and stroked his beautiful black mane and just "visited"with him. Once I calmed down, he calmed down and the lesson continued. NO, today was not the day that I would take my first ride on his back but what was important was that it reminded me of why I love horses in the first place. I was reminded how fortunate I am to have them in my life and that the day will come when he is ready for this big step and I don't want to rush him. Something tells me that there may be six inches of snow on the ground before he comfortably accepts me as his rider and these frustrating days will have been forgotten but what is important now is patience.
In the darkest, most frustrating times, we have to remember what is important in life and cling to it. I sent Shannon a care package of halloween candy, magazines and other things and as the days of indian summer come to an end I will continue to patiently work with this horse as often as time allows and just enjoy it for what it is and remember what is important.
Blessings
Tena
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